How did Harry not realize the hand writing in the...
deezywheezy: slytherin-in-the-tardis: stillnot-ginger: starshiprangerjess: 2-beds-and-a-coffee-machine: #because Harry’s an idiot that’s why #For the main character of such a good book series #He really is an idiot #Ooh what is this long skinny broomstick shaped package? #ITS A BROOMSTICK NO WAY #Slytherin house is a snake #heir of slytherin can talk to snakes #HMM I WONDER WHAT’S...
fyeahlilbitoeverything: Always reblog
thatfunnyblog: every book you’ve ever read is just a different combination of 26 letters Wanna LAUGH OUT LOUD?!
this is a load of barnacles I HEARD THAT
colinfirth: buttpower: you never really know someone until you play uno with them and the motherfuckin asshole hits you with a draw four #friendship has no place at the uno table
Things I Say While Driving
Me: Fuck you, oh. Fuck. You.
Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
Me: Good luck in the slow lane there, bud.
Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
Me: If I miss that green light because of you...
Me: You're gonna cut me off? You better hope you have a damn good accelerator, bitch.
Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
Me: Nope, roof rack.
My dentist once told me that letting go is like...
fatsells: notkorra: #that’s a fucking deep dentist visit omg no
marththebland: vondell-swain: marththebland: vondell-swain: galosengen: octopusoracle: if you think our economy is bad just be thankful you dont live in neopia holy shit i thought inflation was bad when I was there it’s like postwar germany take your wheelbarrow of neopoints to the market to buy a loaf of bread you’re right neopets is exactly like postwar germany there is...
zackisontumblr: If anybody asks if they know you from somewhere, look them in the eyes and say, “Do you watch porn?”